Okay, let me tell you immediately
that it is exactly 2:30am, Thursday 6th November, 2014 and I am somewhere in
South-West Nigeria unable to sleep. Now, if by any chance you are expecting me
to be courteous about whatever I am about to communicate, I think you might
have better luck living in Liberia at this time. I do not intend to be
courteous, neither do I plan to use any measure of restraint in my diction.
Mind me less, you know how angry the brain gets when it is deprived of sleep!
Why exactly am I finding it
difficult to sleep? I already did the two articles I planned to do for the
night and in my mind i was done. It struck me abruptly, that Nigeria is the
source of my headache, sorry more like migraine.....I do not know the best way
to describe my afflictions. In short, the myriad of problems disturbing our
nation is making it excessively impossible for me to calm down. You dare not
tell me to calm down by the time I start my vituperations!
Ok, for the purpose of clarity,
some Nigerian elders deserve to be dead and cremated by now. You wonder why i
did not say buried right? I guess they need to get used to fire from heart
before they get to hell where they will eventually rot. In short, I hereby
recommend every person, of whatever ethnic extraction, who at the age of 70 is
still involved in active politics outside just giving advise.....well, I
recommend them to face a firing squad. They are suffering from a disease I call
‘die-in-power syndrome’. When you are that obsessed with power, it is clear you
intend to die there than leave honourably....Soldiers! Kill them all and rid
them of their misery! Apologies to the GMBs of this nation, but you all have
overstayed your welcome. Instead of insisting on leading us again, inspire the
MNEs of Nigeria to lead. Do you even know what MNE means? One guy who likes
demolishing houses like that.
Ehn ehn, these Chibok girls,
infact may God help me punish these useless Nigerian leaders playing chess with
our brains. All these candidates of firing squad have turned sensitive issues
of Nationa security into ‘tambolo’and they seem to be having fun. Part one is,
I do not believe those girls were kidnapped ‘legitimately’.....sorry I mean,
Boko Haram had help in the course of kidnapping those girls, either from the FG
or the State Government. You can’t kidnap 200 tilapia fishes that easily can
you? These are girls remember, not even fishes! Whatever is happening with
those girls, some lunatics planned it, and whether GEJ turns out to be the
victor or the victim, the fact remains that whoever is behind this needs to be
thrown on a railway track, that thing cuts better than a power saw. I saw one
recently.
Alas, some people are of the
opinion that GEJ should have rescued those girls by now and arrested all those
insurgents. To make the proponents of such psychotic idea aware of their mental
deficiencies, I will just ask simply, how many years did it take United States
of America to find Osama Bin Laden talk less of kill him? This is not warfare,
it is terrorism....the terrorists are ready to die to protect their leaders. We
need volunteers though, maybe one of these clueless talkers want to go lead the
military charge since all our soldiers are thinking of their children and
playing it safe. The more these Boko Haram people die, the more they
indoctrinate more people and the worse we are for it as a society. What I am
saying, in short-mouth, is that we need more than noise to solve this problem,
we need prayers and the collective support of Nigerians to save freedom at its
greatest hour of peril.
Now, I would not say this on a
very good day for fear of offending my muslim friends but under this condition
of insomnia, I will take liberty. Somehow, I began thinking of the way
religious issues are playing out these days and I must confess, with the way
these ISIS people and their offsprings like Boko Haram are going, one is
constrained to think Islam is the 666 my Bible predicted! Yepa, did I just say
that? Ehn now, with the way these people are killing people just to establish
sovereign Islamic States, similarities are begin to show between their acts and
the frying inside hot oil that my Bible says will be the way the 666 people
will force others to accept the mark. Anyways, because I believe in God and He
has not given us liberty to judge, I plead with my muslim brothers, whichever
one of you is not a fanatic yet to please help spread the gospel of peace, I no
wan die.
Lest I forget, I heard one
Tambuwal guy defected from the party with the majority in the Nigerian House of
Representatives to a minority party and he wants to retain Speakership! Oluwa
o, will you not punish these Nigerian politicians who never give justice a
chance? That section in the Nigerian constitution which the IGP quoted, whether
na section 68 or whatever (I am not a lawyer, what is an Engineer’s business
with Law?), clearly states the provisions of the constitution. He who runs away
from the party that elected him automatically loses his seat! Is it that the
judges in the courts are English Professors that we need them to interpret such
unambiguous provisions? Will APC and their band of hypocrites watch the same
done to their party? I remember with delight the way Femi Gbajabiamila addressed
Mulikat Akande-Adeola as the House Minority Leader just because APC took the
House lead for just three days abi nkankan..... The same party is now
clamouring for Speakership when obviously, they are in the minority. Where on
earth does minority houses take control of the legislature? Naija people, allow
me sleep na!
Before my head gets blown with
lack of sleep, I must tel you this. My informants say one funny Ambassador who
was Secretary to the Congress panel that conducted ward congresses in Oyo State
took a bribe of around #28m to twist the result of the ward congresses in
favour of the camp of one young contestant like that. One Sunny Okocha was also
part of the panel that performed that wonderful daylight robbery. I heard the
Alao-Akala camp has the original result sheet and has taken it to Abuja while
the other person produced an entirely new sheet and are even yet to submit but
the pendulum yet swings in their favour. Nigeria is in a mess!
As I sleep, please tell Nigerians
to consider using the Ukraine formula if living together becomes a hassle. We
can conveniently split into four sovereign states if we so wish. I for one
prays fervently for the disintegration of Nigeria because by that time, ground
go level wella....all of us go follow hustle how e go be! Let us go our
separate ways, we have cocoa and gold where I come from, anybody wey no get raw
materials go chop Alubosa! I see loads of opportunities in that disintegration
because even my village will have a separate Local Government and I can then
become Chairman next year.....seriously?
Awwwwwwwwww........make I swallow
you before you tell me to go sleep? Insomnia almost defeated.....God bless
Nigeria, God punish all those useless leaders, thunder fire those die-hard
political fanatics still trying to worry at 70+, Thunder massacre Boko Haram in
their hide-outs....God bless me! Good night oh!
Sorry, I am yet to kiss my baby
good night......mmmmuuuuuaaaahhhh.....I love you darling! Are you guessing who?
Watch out for my next insomnia package!
Namaste...
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